Consignment Sale Blues

Ok, so when it's consignment sale time, I get very methodical. I go with a mission and a plan. I have a goal in mind and a list in my hand. I know exactly how many of what types of clothing items I need and how much I am willing to pay max for each one.

The problem is that this list of items and prices is three children long.

The other problem is that this list of items and prices happens twice a year, and no more. I don't shop for children's clothing at any other time, unless there are specific items that I cannot find at the sale (usually things like shoes and pajamas).

This means that I have to be very careful about what I do while at the sale. I'm afraid I look pretty silly to most of the people who see me at the sale, because I have a no-fail, three-step method to get exactly what I need/want.

1. Find the appropriate sized/gendered clothing aisle and work my way down the length of it, looking at every article of clothing (because if I miss one, it might be the one I really needed, right?) on both top and bottom racks. Each article is evaluated by three criteria: 1.) price (if it's more than I'm willing to pay, it's immediately discarded), 2.) list (if it's not on my list, I may still take it along, but only if it's really cute and cheap), 3.) size (because not all 5t clothing is really 5t). If it passes muster, I put it in my [empty] double stroller, which I bring on purpose to act as a shopping cart. Understandably, this takes quite a long time, and results in a very large pile of clothing in my stoller. So large, in fact, that I imagine fellow-shoppers to wonder as they gape at me whether I run an orphanage.

2. Find a spot to sort through all the stuff. Really, it's not as bad as it sounds. I don't actually have half of the 5t section in my stroller by this point. (Maybe just 10%) J/K! But I do have a bunch of clothes. Remember, I'm shopping for two, so I need double what is necessary for just one, and then think about how many clothes are currently in one child's closet, laundry basket, and drawers combined. That's what I'm there to get.

My list tells me I need 2 Easter dresses, 2 other church dresses, several "nice-but-not-too-nice" outfits, and quite a few play clothes (because I learned about the time my girls turned two that the carrot stains on their bibs that I complained about the first couple of years were not to be compared to the stains and rips that would consistently appear in all but the nicest of clothes, as they grew older). The dresses are relatively easy to take care of. There aren't a whole lot of choices to begin with, and they only require one piece, so I just have to make sure they're long enough and in decent shape, with no fashion features that I object to putting on my three-year-olds.

Now the fun begins. The term "outfits" generally refers to any collection of shirts, blouses, t-shirts, polos, skirts, shorts, skorts, pants, jeans, and capris, all of which I evaluated on the 5t aisle, and many of which I added to my "shopping cart." But I dare not just pick my top 6 or 8 (depending on how many my list tells me I need) favorite tops and bottoms, because they might not all go together. I have to lay them all out and find ones that go together and figure out if A wears this, what can J wear that compliments it. Or if J wears this dog shirt, I'd better find a cat one for A, or I'll never hear the end of it. And I know I'd better get at least one yellow shirt for J, or she'll be heart-broken if there's no replacement when we have to put away the yellow shirt from last year that she absolutely cannot wear anymore. The same goes for A's blue shorts. But I have to make sure they both have the same number of clothes, and that they are at least relatively similar in style, color, etc.

Why, you ask? Because that is the way I am. I know that my children will not be scarred for life if they don't possess the exact same number of clothing items, or if their clothing items don't all coordinate (I say coordinate, not match, because we very rarely match). On the contrary, they most likely wouldn't even notice if one had more clothes than the other, and they often each pick outfits that don't have anything in common at all. No, my children will not be scarred for life, but I might be. For the same reason that I have to look at every article of clothing on the rack, I also have to make certain that each girl has the same number of jeans, shirts, skirts, etc. and that they can at least coordinate with each other if they want to.

Anyway, this process takes a very long time, and requires a good deal of space. I usually follow the example of a few like-minded mothers who find a large dining room table for sale in the "Mommy Mart," and spread the clothes out on it to sort them. Unfortunately, today I was told for the first time (albeit very nicely) that this is not acceptable because people might want to look at the table while I am sorting, and they can't see it if my clothes are on it. This makes sense, but is incredibly frustrating to someone who considers the concrete slab floor of the Cox building filthily unsuitable for laying clothes out on. So, I had to do all my sorting on my stroller. It took a very long time, and I kept forgetting why these clothes were all in this pile together, and having to go over it several times. But finally, I finished step number 2.

3. Now it's time to go back to the size 5t aisle and find the missing pieces. At the same time, I can return all the clothes I'm not getting (about two thirds of the pile on my stroller) to the racks.

Missing pieces are the things I should have picked up the first time, but didn't know I'd need. For instance, I have this cute denim skirt with tropical flowers trimming the bottom, but none of the tops I picked up go with it. I need something red. So I have to go back down that aisle until I find a red top that looks ok with the skirt, is in my price range, and doesn't have any elements I disapprove of. This doesn't take too long, because there are only maybe four or five things I need. But by this time, I'm very tired, and very sick of shopping, and extremely sick of the 5t aisle.

Once all of this is done, I can head over to the boys' 3t aisle and start again. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about coordinating multiples' outfits, so it goes a bit quicker. Also, there are fewer choices on the boys' aisle, and more things go together more easily. It's also not as exciting. That's why I save it for last. Unfortunately, that means I am in a hurry to be done by the time I get there, so A2 ends up with the skimmin's. He still got some nice clothes though.

Then, I have to check the hats, shoes, pajamas, socks, and accessories to see if there are any things that perfectly match something I'm buying, or that we really need, and then I have to stand in line to pay for it all. Lastly, I walk to the car beside (rather than behind) the stroller holding down the clothes because if I don't, the wind blows them out!

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Overheard at the sale:

Mom: Leave them alone. Don't you remember I've told you again and again not to talk to strangers?
Boy: Those aren't strangers. They're people.

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On our way home from the grocery store, it was starting to get dark, and the lightening from the evening's storms was becoming more visible. The girls don't like storms in general and thunder and lightening in particular. A informed me that God was spanking the lightening so it wouldn't lightening because she didn't want it to.